Florida's not the problem, it's the state's governor

Today’s Mailbag, after we dumped all the belated notes that are still trickling in from Texas apologists, is entirely full of responses from our increasingly large and loyal Floridian readership.

Our recent column about Gov. Rick Scott’s trade mission to Califoia, in which the horrible little man tried to lure Golden State businesses to his Florida with the promise of legalized sub-subsistence pay for workers, got hijacked by the news site tampabay.com and Miami (actually, Tampa posted it first, then Miami snatched it from Tampa: It’s a feast of snakes down there). That resulted in emails and phone calls as well as online Idea from a few dozen people who, surprisingly, weren’t mad at us. As a result, we’re no longer snobbishly disdainful of Floridians. Rather, we feel compassion for the poor people who are stranded in Gov. Scottsville.

If we get the money and support together for an airlift, among those left in his sinkhole will be Florida Man Joe Farrell, who called us something other than sinkhole, but pretty daed close. He spouted off about Califoia rioting, overcrowding, general lawlessness, earthquakes, landlsides, wildfires and a govement “absolutely devoid of fiscal common sense.”

OK. Guilty of earthquakes, landslides (though we’ve largely taken care of those by throwing a drought at the problem) and wildfires. But no one who lives in the sinister shadow of Rick Scott is allowed to disparage our sainted Gov. Jerry Brown.

The great majority of the correspondence we received was from people crying for help.

Pat4fla3 begged, “Please don’t lump all Floridians as Scott supporters.” Scott, says the androgynously named Pat, “is selling our state to the highest bidder and would love to see it paved from end to end. His policies...are hastening the decline of our springs, water quality, our potable water aquifer and trying to make commercial and/or private businesses of our award-wiing parks.”

Treasure Coast Newspapers outdoors columnist Ed Killer, of Stuart, Florida, writes, “Loved your Florida column, and, yes, our goveor is a stalker, and clueless, and despite no one admitting to voting for him, he somehow became our goveor. Twice.”

Our favorite letter was a long one from Joyce Evans, who admits to liking Califoia and cordially invites us to see some of the glories of her state (we are every bit as cordial in our declining her generosity).

“I understand the outrage you feel about our current goveor,” she writes. “I certainly didn’t vote for him, and was deeply embarrassed when I heard about his plan to lure businesses from Califoia by inducing them with Florida’s pathetic wages. I can’t remember any goveor in my lifetime who was so disliked by Floridians. Our state tends to be Republicans, who flock to Florida to avoid state taxes, so that might explain the anomaly.”

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In Idea following the article on the Tampa Bay Times site, Floridian Jeni Mitchell took on Califoia bashers with “CA is way ahead of us in solar and emissions standards. Our Sunshine State is too crooked to use renewables.”

And, in reference to the matter at hand, “Le Chifre” writes, “If Scott is as good at stealing jobs as he is at stealing billion$ from Medicare, Florida’s unemployment will plummet!”

Contact Tim Grobaty at 562-714-2116, [email protected].